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To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Related topics: Funny Movie Cynical
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain
Don't make friends who are comfortable to be with.
Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.
- Thomas J. Watson Sr.
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
- A Course In Miracles (commonly misattributed to Rumi)
It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey
The magic words for a great family are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You only meet your once in a lifetime friend ...
once in a lifetime.
- Little Rascals
Your visions will become clear only
when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung
True friends are those who lift you up
when your heart's wings forget how to fly.
- Anonymous
Front yards are not made to walk in, but, at most, through,
and you could go in the back way.
- Henry David Thoreau
Business, you know, may bring money,
but friendship hardly ever does.
- Jane Austen
You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry
A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South
A friend is a present you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln
When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous
Good friends are like stars ...
you don't always see them,
but you know they are always there.
- Anonymous
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Choose your friends carefully.
Your enemies will choose you.
- Yasser Arafat
Best friends are the ones who can be the farthest away
but there the fastest when you call.
- Anonymous
My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca
Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin
A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering
If you love something, set it free;
if it comes back it's yours,
if it doesn't, it never was.
- Richard Bach
Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran
A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10
A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
Thank you for visiting: To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. ... by Woody Allen.
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"The Philosopher of Happiness" - is the author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, speaker, personal coach, and creator of the popular Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote free email.>
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