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If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon
If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson
The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous
No man is the whole of himself;
his friends are the rest of him.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick
Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams
The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale
So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller
A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
- Charles Darwin
I hate the giving of the hand
unless the whole man accompanies it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man must evolve for all human conflict,
a method which rejects
revenge, aggression and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker.
A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.
- The Buddha
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon
Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The man form is higher than the angel form;
of all forms it is the highest.
Man is the highest being in creation,
because he aspires to freedom.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
- Mark Twain
Adversity introduces a man to himself.
- Anonymous
Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not?
- Luciano Pavarotti
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Experience is not what happens to a man.
It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
- Carl Jung
The man with insight enough to admit his limitations
comes nearest to perfection.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.
- Anatole France
A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
Interdependence is and ought to be
as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency.
Man is a social being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
He is a man of courage who does not run away,
but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.
- Socrates
All religions must be tolerated...
for every man must get to heaven in his own way.
- Epictetus
Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"The Philosopher of Happiness" - is the author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, speaker, personal coach, and creator of the popular Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote free email.>
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