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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin
Life is a sum of all your choices.
- Albert Camus
Life is partly what we make it,
and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.
- Tehyi Hsieh
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
- Anonymous
A life lived Boldly and Joyfully is a Heroic Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fear is the root of the tree of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.
"Even longer," Pooh answered.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious,
and they must be brought into connection with action.
They must be woven together.
- Anais Nin
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature.
- Helen Keller
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm so glad I never feel important, it does complicate life!
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Gift the love of your life with undistracted,
untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung
The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life is a gift, and I try to respond with grace and courtesy.
- Maya Angelou
Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman
Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.
- Gary Allen
Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook
Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is given to us, we earn it by giving it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
No man is a failure who enjoys life.
- William Feather
Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can never really live anyone else's life,
not even your child's.
The influence you exert is through your own life,
and what you've become yourself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life just happens - enjoy it anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz
Life is all in our Perspective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
It is easier to put on slippers
than to carpet the entire world
- Al Franken
Life is all in the perspective we take on it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life doesn't play favorites.
- Anonymous
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"The Philosopher of Happiness" - is the author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, speaker, personal coach, and creator of the popular Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote free email.>
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