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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)
Life is partly what we make it,
and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.
- Tehyi Hsieh
Life is a sum of all your choices.
- Albert Camus
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
- Anonymous
Life is lived in the waiting.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
I love the rain - it washes memories
off the sidewalk of life.
- the movie Play It Again, Sam
Joy blooms where minds and hearts are open.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life will not meet your expectations -
choose joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook
The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Life must be lived as play.
- Plato
What is called genius is the
abundance of life and health.
- Henry David Thoreau
It all depends on how we look at things,
and not how they are in themselves.
- Carl Jung
Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci
No man is a failure who enjoys life.
- William Feather
Gift the love of your life with undistracted,
untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our life is frittered away by detail... simplify, simplify.
- Henry David Thoreau
Go forth, and play joyfully in the garden of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a mask through which the universe expresses itself.
- Frank Herbert
Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.
- Gary Allen
Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler
Life is given to us, we earn it by giving it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is not length of life, but depth of life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A life lived Boldly and Joyfully is a Heroic Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Life is a grand adventure - enjoy the ride.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Book of Life is a Book of Riddles,
with its Real Lessons Writ Small in the Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is easier to put on slippers
than to carpet the entire world
- Al Franken
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature.
- Helen Keller
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is all in the perspective we take on it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is all a game anyway, so just change the rules.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a balance between rest and movement.
- Osho
Life is a gift, and I try to respond with grace and courtesy.
- Maya Angelou
Thank you for visiting: Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. ... by Woody Allen.
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"The Philosopher of Happiness" - is the author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, speaker, personal coach, and creator of the popular Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote free email.>
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.