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Funny Best Friend Quotes

Please enjoy these Funny Best Friend Quotes from my collection of Friendship quotes.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

 

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

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An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school
wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating.
- Scott Hamilton

I was lucky. My family is wonderful.
And it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families.
So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings,
though in the end I had to leave them and go home.
I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.
- Sophia Bush

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
- David Ogilvy

To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.
- Eric Idle

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
- Frank Carson

I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny.
- Stephen Dorff

If you're talking about Java in particular, Python is about the best fit you can get amongst all the other languages. Yet the funny thing is, from a language point of view, JavaScript has a lot in common with Python, but it is sort of a restricted subset.
- Guido van Rossum

Why would they have gone to the trouble to hire the best comedy writers in the business to write funny material for us to play straight, if the children in our audience were the only audience.
- Burt Ward

I love the part of Hector as it takes me back to playing eccentric parts. He is a funny character, which is fine by me as I've been playing for laughs for decades now! It's lovely to get a laugh; it's the best thing in the world!
- Richard Briers

We've finally told the world that this is sports entertainment, and I think one of the best forms of entertainment is anything that's fun or funny, something that you really enjoy watching or listening to.
- Jerry Lawler

To be able to make a good living in a challenging medium like soap operas is great. The best is that I get to act and am rewarded for it. And the people I work with are great. Funny, intelligent, hard working. They're all great to be around.
- David Canary

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill

What we've got here is failure to communicate.
- the movie Cool Hand Luke

Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln

I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death


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Friendship Quotes


Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"The Philosopher of Happiness" - is the author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, speaker, personal coach, and creator of the popular Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote free email.

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.