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Please enjoy these Funny Best Friend Quotes from my collection of Friendship quotes.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school
wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating.
- Scott Hamilton
I was lucky. My family is wonderful.
And it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families.
So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings,
though in the end I had to leave them and go home.
I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.
- Sophia Bush
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
- David Ogilvy
To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.
- Eric Idle
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
- Frank Carson
I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny.
- Stephen Dorff
If you're talking about Java in particular, Python is about the best fit you can get amongst all the other languages. Yet the funny thing is, from a language point of view, JavaScript has a lot in common with Python, but it is sort of a restricted subset.
- Guido van Rossum
Why would they have gone to the trouble to hire the best comedy writers in the business to write funny material for us to play straight, if the children in our audience were the only audience.
- Burt Ward
I love the part of Hector as it takes me back to playing eccentric parts. He is a funny character, which is fine by me as I've been playing for laughs for decades now! It's lovely to get a laugh; it's the best thing in the world!
- Richard Briers
We've finally told the world that this is sports entertainment, and I think one of the best forms of entertainment is anything that's fun or funny, something that you really enjoy watching or listening to.
- Jerry Lawler
To be able to make a good living in a challenging medium like soap operas is great. The best is that I get to act and am rewarded for it. And the people I work with are great. Funny, intelligent, hard working. They're all great to be around.
- David Canary
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
What we've got here is failure to communicate.
- the movie Cool Hand Luke
Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln
I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"The Philosopher of Happiness" - is the author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, speaker, personal coach, and creator of the popular Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote free email.>
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