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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Funny Friendship Relationship
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde
A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
- Charles Darwin
We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
In true friendship, one can express
anything and everything without feeling ashamed
or afraid of being rejected.
- Aparna Chatterjee
Sometimes new love comes between old friends.
Sometimes the best love was the one that was always there.
- Anonymous
The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous
Friendship is a thing most necessary to life,
since without friends no one would choose to live,
though possessed of all other advantages.
- Aristotle
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin
It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell
One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin
Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and happiness of one another.
- Eustace Budgell
Friendship without self-interest
is one of the rare and beautiful things in life.
- James Francis Byrnes
Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious,
one should preserve it.
- Anais Nin
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
- Walter Winchell
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship
is to understand and to be understood.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
One measure of friendship consists
not in the number of things friends can discuss,
but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman
Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.
That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.
- Emily Kimbrough
There's a big difference between a handout and a helping hand.
One's charity, the other's friendship.
- Little Joe' Cartwright in Bonanza - Rain from Heaven
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln
A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford
Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
Friends... they cherish one another's hopes.
They are kind to one another's dreams.
- Henry David Thoreau
One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides
Life is a series of experiences,
each one of which makes us bigger,
even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
- Henry Ford
One can never speak enough of the virtues,
the dangers, the power of shared laughter.
- Francoise Sagan
All unhappiness comes from either
having less than yesterday,
or from having less than one's neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How paramount the future is to the present
when one is surrounded by children.
- Charles Darwin
NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating.
Youngsters need good models more than they need critics.
It's one of a parent's greatest responsibilities and opportunities.
- John Wooden
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"The Philosopher of Happiness" - is the author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, speaker, personal coach, and creator of the popular Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote free email.>
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